Sometimes I feel downright LIVID about the invasive and pervasive nature of diet culture and the misguided battle that so many of us have been bamboozled into fighting.
In case you’ve missed the research, 90-95% of diets/lifestyle changes/ weight loss attempts FAIL at the 2 year mark.
That's right. Fail, as in weight gained back and then some.
I wonder why a girl can’t just LIVE without being told every 6 seconds to "eat this not that / love your body but not TOO much if it isn’t lean, young, and white / also don’t eat sugar / although it’s ok if it fits your macros or points / you should up your protein / hide your “problem” areas / try this diet no THIS one or how about a healthy lifestyle change / lose weight be happy / but you CAN’T be happy till you hit a weight/shape that conforms to what society says is ok. <deep breath>
Yep, I'm definitely mad. Especially because it just..doesn't...work. These messages only lead to self-loathing, weight cycling, restriction and binge eating, shame and at their worst, full-fledged eating disorders.
Radically transforming your relationship to your food and body requires a paradigm shift and paradigm shifts don’t just grow on trees (because if they did, everyone would be eating according to intuition, pleasure, hunger and fullness, accepting their body’s natural shapes, and feeling freedom and love for their bodies).
It’s ok to force that paradigm shift with a little old-fashioned anger, or at least a realistic look at the impact that the messages you’ve received all your life have had on your mental health and well-being.
Ok, not comfortable with anger? How about curiosity? That’s a great place to start!
One way to get curious/angry is to take a look at your own diet and body history, an inventory if you will. Lay out the evidence in front of you and ask yourself if the approach you’ve been taking with food and body is really working for you and your sanity. You did not deserve to walk into the trap that was set when you first thought you needed fixing.
At what age were you put on your first diet?
What was the first time that you received the message that your body needed to change?
What messages did you receive from your family about food and your body?
What was the most recent diet you “failed”, that ended up in uncontrollable eating, or waking up drowning in shame?
What was the promise when you started that diet and what hopes did you have when you began?
How many “lifestyle changes”, detoxes, weight loss challenges, New Year’s Resolutions, paleo, keto, vegan, no-sugar, ‘clean eating’ have there been? Start from the beginning and see if you can remember it all...
Have your efforts ever escalated to purging behaviors or diet pills or forced you into isolation?
What meals or social events have you suffered through or avoided altogether due to discomfort, confusion or shame?
What opportunities or goals have you let slide because you figure you’d do it in 10 or 50 or 100 pounds from now?
How many tears have you shed over the reflection in the mirror, avoided touch from a partner, or winced through comparisonitis and body checking? (ok, this one may be a little hard to calculate)
Write it ALL down. Take your time. When you lay it out, does it shock or anger you or do you just feel numb...
You’re not alone! There aren’t too many people who have been untouched by a relentless diet culture steeped in fatphobia. Freedom starts with staging a rebellion. You have permission to find a different way and FULL permission to find what it means to you to be healthy, both mentally and physically. You absolutely deserve it. It's time for your personal declaration of independence!
Are you ready to overcome chronic dieting and weight cycling, or address an eating disorder, or just make peace with your food and body? As a psychotherapist working with trauma, food issues, and body image, I can help you in your journey towards food & body freedom. Reach out and let’s talk!
Or find me on Instagram @therapywithjess. I'd love to connect!